HamChat History
by Jonny Manz
Summary: Ever wonder how HamChat, the language of Hamsters, came about? I'm seriously debating whether or not to move this to crossovers. Tell me what you think. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM VERY WELCOME, flames discouraged, but accepted! Rated Kplus for minor language.
1. A History in HamChat

**Ham-Chat History: Chapter 1: A History in Ham-Chat  
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By: Jonathan The Ham-Ham, or JTHH

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**Me: This chapter, as well as Chapter 2 of "A Love Story!" are in paragraph format because at the time, I was having trouble with script formatting. Just letting you know! Though now, I have completely switched over to paragraph format.  
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Disclaimer: I have no possession over Hamtaro. Ritsuko Kawai does. And I admit, Celestial Night **Did **come up with the idea of **writing Ham-Humans into fanfics**. That being said, I'll use Ham-humans in a bunch of my stories from now on, because _

1. The ORIGINAL idea of Ham-Humans wasn't made by Celestial Night, it was made by people over in Japan, and  
2. I will only write Ham-Humans into my fics to be a good writer, not to annoy you or anything Celestial Night. It's like when littler siblings totally look up to you, and try to copy your every move so they can be as "cool" as you. That having been said, I **will not** change them to actual humans instead of Ham-Humans, no matter what anyone says. Thanks for your time.

**Claimer: I do own Sunflower City, Prince Ham, and King Sunflower! (Yes, I know, kinda uncreative, but I was out of Ideas at the time...)**

Summary: Ever wonder how Ham-Chat, the hit language of Hamsters, was originated? Read on to find out! (This is what most likely happened. I, and the Ham-Scientists aren't quite sure of it.)

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Hello, my name Jonathan The Ham-Ham, formerly Jonathan The Caveham. But that's not important right now. This is most likely what happened with Ham-Chat. _A Ham-Scientist approaches_ "We know where the scrolls came from, and approximately how old they are. We just have no idea why it was written", explained that Ham-Scientist. "Hey, kids! Wanna hear a story about the history of Ham-Chat?" asked I. "Yeah, Yeah, we do!" exclaimed a bunch of Ham-Kids. (A/N: I won't be talking in quotes. When I'm thinking, it'll be in parenthesis, and A/N won't be before it! When there's an action, whether it's for others or me, it'll be italicized.) Okay, here goes. Once upon a time in ancient Sunflower City, (It's where ancient hamsters lived before about 500 years ago, being washed to a parallel dimension/universe after an extremely violent Tsunami and Magic Portal, which caused it to turn occupants and tourists going there into Ham-Humans!) about 1,000 years ago, was where it happened. 

But, first let me describe Sunflower City. Sunflower City was located about a mile off the shore of Florida. It is old and abandoned now, at least, I think. Sunflower City was full of Sunflower, Pumpkin, and Apple seeds. It was extremely fancy, too. It was like a Hamster's paradise. It wasn't that expensive, either. For a beat-up, run-down shack in the middle of the city, it was about 1,000 Ham-Dollars. The biggest mansion cost about 1 million Ham-Dollars.

"What! That's more money than I've seen in my whole life!" exclaimed a Ham-Child. Yes, I know it is. Now, back to the story. The citizens had a ruler also. It was a monarchy form of government, in other words, they had a king. No one knew his real name, so they just called him King Sunflower. He had a gorgeous son, whose name was also unknown, so he was called Prince Ham. The King was an absolute genius. He had an IQ higher than any other ham in the land. But, his son was another story. Everyone thought he wasn't very bright. Fact is, he was very bright, but the king could make a genius ham seem like a dimwit. So, Prince Ham wanted redemption. To prove how smart he was, he wrote a whole 10 scrolls on a new language, using the same lettering, just rearranging it (duh). He wanted it to be a secret until dinner that evening. He packed it in an airtight bag, and set it on the royal dresser. There happened to be a breeze blow in from the window, which was across from the dresser. It blew under the dresser. When it was time for dinner, the Prince just couldn't find it. "Oh, well, it's not like it was that important," sighed The Prince sadly.

Then, Prince Ham told The King about that misfortune. The King called for his royal servants. They looked everywhere, except under the royal dresser. The servants thought it unclean. "We had no luck," sighed one especially tired servant. King Sunflower started to order his servants up and at it again, but before he could finish, Prince Ham stated, "Oh, well. It's not like was that important anyways." King Ham looked confused, then called off the guards. 'I know this meant more than all of Sunflower City to me, but it's lost now and there's nothing I can do about it,' thought The Prince.

That night, a voice seemed to whisper, "Get some rest Prince Ham, for tomorrow. You're going to need it." Prince Ham just snored in reply.

That morning, just after Prince Ham took a bath, he heard trumpets blaring. That could mean one thing. The Hameld (nicknamed Herald) (A/N: Ha ha, lame joke!) came forth holding a scroll. He proclaimed it loud and clear, "The King is dead! I repeat, your majesty, King Sunflower has died in his sleep!" "What!" exclaimed Prince Sunflower. The Hameld walked back, as the trumpets silenced. That afternoon, there was a feast in the castle. Then, Later in the Evening, Prince Ham had his coronation ceremony. Cries were heard all over town, "Long live King Ham of Sunflower City!" That night, after the servants got The King ready for bed, he looked under his dresser. "Oh, well. Now that I can't show Dad, it doesn't matter getting it out," he sighed sadly. Many Generations passed. It wasn't found for a while..."That was told better than I could have ever," stated a Ham-Scientist. It was discovered buried on the coast of Florida, about a year ago. If you wanna hear that story, say I! "I!" screamed all the Ham-Kids. Okay. Most hams just walk along the soft Florida coast, not giving it a second thought. But, one ham, named Maxwell, made a plan. But there was no way he could dig as deep as he needed to. And there was another, named Boss, who could dig as deep as he wanted in the soft Florida coast. But, problem was, he never knew where to dig. So, one day, Boss and Maxwell were walking towards each other. They bumped, accidentally. "Oops!" said Boss, "What's that you're holding in your hand?" "Oh, this is where, and how deep to dig to get to the legendary scrolls," replied Maxwell. (A/N: If you haven't figured it out, the scrolls over time got washed up on the Florida shore, and buried deep) "Good, I can dig for you!" replied Boss. They dug it up and discovered it. They mailed it to a dictionary company. And the you know rest. _I show the Ham-Kids a dictionary_ "Wow…" is all they could murmur in awe. "Wait!" exclaimed one, "Can we go see Sunflower City?" If it's okay with your parents to move away, it's fine with me. "Yeah, let's go!" Squealed a somewhat high-pitched voice. (That didn't come from one of the kids. It came from... Oh my gosh! Is that really him? It's... It's...)

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**Me: Sorry people! I won't be updating this story until I finish "A Love Story!" You'll see why. There is an important reason why. You'll see. Signed, Jonathan The Ham-Ham  
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_**So Review... NOW!!!**_


	2. Onward to Sunflower City!

**Chapter 2: Onward to Sunflower City!**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro, Nintendo, or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Even though they're all awesome and I wish I did._

Claimer: I do own this fanfic, and those other things mentioned in the previous chapter. I also still own the laptop, plus now I own a Nintendo DS Lite and a Wii (and now a 3DS)! They are all incredibly awesome. I love them. Anyway, I should get on with the story.

**Me: Hey guys, I'm back! Ugh, how does time slip by so fast? Oh, in case you were wondering, I'm not happy that it took me almost 4 years to get this updated. But, I finally did it, and that's what matters, right? Anyways, back to the story.**

**Edit: Now it's been over 5.5 years, or close to 8 years for this fic specifically. LOL I'm so bad at being quick and timely.**

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It's Hamtaro!

"That's right," he replied, "It's me in the fur & flesh."

But what're you doing here, with your wife, Bijou, as well as most of your friends?

"Why we're here is to invite you to come to Sunflower City with us!" he exclaimed. "The others will be here soon. Maxwell said he had a feeling he'd need to look up something, and his wife, Sandy, decided to wait back with him.

Is that so… Well, what are we waiting for (except Maxwell and Sandy)? Come on, let's see how the boat is. _I ran down to the docks, only to find the boat half-submerged in water_. W-what the!

"Ehehehe, that's the thing, the boat kind of sprung a leak on the way here," Hamtaro stated sheepishly.

Oh, and you didn't think it was important enough to let me know until I got all excited, and rushed over to set sail? Yah didn't think that was an important detail? _Hamtaro sweatdropped, while I fell over, anime style._

"Well, it shouldn't be that hard of a fix, right? I mean, you've got those kids with you, surely they could help you go find something to fix it," Hamtaro replied as calmly as possible, not wanting to annoy me anymore. "There should be some supplies in town."

"I'll go and get them," Stan volunteered.

Well, okay. That sounds reasonable enough. I was just so excited to become a Ham-Human. Oh, look, your parents are here. Now you can ask them if you all can go to Sunflower City, since I would be in a lotta trouble with them if I just took you all away! I'm no hamnapper!

"What's a hamnapper, Mr.?" one of the Ham-kids inquired.

Well, it's someham that takes a ham-ham, usually a child, like you, from their place of living without their permission.

"Oh, yeah, I can see why that would be a bad thing, heh heh," the Ham-kid laughed as he replied to my information. "So can we please go mommy and daddy? PLEAASE?"

"Oh, I don't see why not," replied the father.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SCHOOL YOU WOULD MISS BY LEAVING RIGHT NOW? YOU'D GET SO FAR BEHIND, YOU'D BE HELD BACK GRADES, THEN YOU'D EVENTUALLY DROP OUT, AND BECOME AN UNEDUCATED HICK LIKE YOUR FATHER!" his obviously irate (and quite possibly insane) mother screamed at him.

"Now, honey, while all you've said is fair, don't you think the new settlement will need protection? After all, I did save the world at least 3 times, and our son would be a great help!" the father replied, sheepishly trying to convince his wife of the validity of moving to the new Sunflower City settlement.

Actually, there'll be schools over there, but we won't really need protection.

"Wait, why?" the Ham-kid's father asked.

Well, sir, that is because of a simple thing that is called "The Elements of Harmony." Right now, they reside in the ponies' kingdom of Equestria, because, after all, it was ponykind that created them long ago. However, I think that we may be able to convince them to loan them to us, due to our dire need. However, I'll need a traveling party to come with me, so that we'll be able to transport them back to where we're able to use them.

"Wait, I thought that was just an old ham's tale," a different Ham-kid said. "Don't the sun and moon move of their own accord here? Plus, all the people around…"

Well, yes, while technically the sun doesn't move here; rather, we move around it, your points still stand. After all, I'm sure if humankind and ponykind co-existed side-by-side, it would be a lot more obvious.

"So, you're admitting you made the whole story up?" the same Ham-kid inquired.

Not at all, for you see, this one time, I was nearly killed. By all means, I should've died, as the injury was certainly fatal, in that it definitely pierced my heart. However, I heard a warm voice call out to me, telling me my time was not yet up. Then, I heard another voice, this one much cooler, yet still warm in a different way, telling me that we would meet sometime soon. Both voices were distinctly female. After that, I heard a male's voice telling me to use the magical teleporter he was giving me wisely. I was quite confused at this point, as you can imagine.

After that, I woke with a start, and wondered, was that all just a dream? I noticed that I had no scars, so my first thought was, yeah, it was a dream. Then, I felt an unfamiliar object in one of my pockets. I pulled it out, and to my shock, there was a small, pocket-watch looking device, half glistening gold as the sun, the other half shining silver like the moon, and labeled on the front as "My Little Teleporter." Real subtle, I thought to myself.

So that brings us back to here and now. So which of you…

"!" a nerdish voice suddenly cried out. "I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR TRIP, AS WELL AS THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!"

Whoa, hi there, Maxwell, nice to see you. Also, nice to see your wife… wait, what is she doing carrying you?

"I couldn't run fast enough. Sandy was leaving me in the dust, and I was afraid I wouldn't get here in time to give you this information!" Maxwell replied.

So, you're saying that even while carrying you, Sandy is still faster than you?

"DON'T JUDGE ME!" Maxwell shouted in reply. "My strength is in my brain, not my legs!"

Okay, okay, I understand. Sheesh, calm down. Anyways, so what did you learn about our trip, and the Elements of Harmony?

"Like, you owe me for this, big time, Maxy Waxy!" Sandy exclaimed, out of breath.

"Heh heh, of course!" Maxwell grinned sheepishly, and then went on to tell of what he had learned.

"Well, I pored over my old tomes in the clubhouse library, and found an interesting history: the Sunflower City we all thought was real, and was off the coast of Florida, was just a doppelganger, with the buildings, and the dictionary, deposited there by a storm, in fact, the same storm that was believed to have taken hamsters _away_ from it. In fact, the real Sunflower City existed in the same dimension as Equestria, the realm known as 'Fantaji.' Also, you're never gonna believe this, but King Sunflower, was friends with the Princesses of the Sun and Moon there, Celestia and Luna, respectively. In fact, when Luna's jealousy and hatred turned her into Nightmare Moon… erm, well, you are familiar with that event, right?" Maxwell inquired.

Well, of course, I am extremely well versed in Equestrian history… or, at least, I thought I was, before you discovered those old tomes!

"Right, well, anyways, I discovered that it was not solely ponykind that invented the Elements, as had previously been thought. Rather, King Sunflower consulted with Princess Celestia to make the Elements, so that she could purify her sister. However, it was not discovered until it was too late that each element needed to reside in a separate being in order to unlock their true power. In trying to purify her sister, Celestia was only able to lock Luna within her moon for 1,000 years, and the attempt nearly drained her of life. King Sunflower was a very wise ham, and he saw without either of the Princesses around to move the sun and moon, Fantaji would most certainly fall into chaos, and would probably eventually come to an end, which would've only been sped up after 1,000 years, and Nightmare Moon came back to cast eternal night over the land. So, instead, he sacrificed his own life to save Celestia. With his dying breaths, he ordered the histories to be written to look as though the Elements of Harmony were invented completely by ponykind, with no involvement from hamkind, so that our society would never hold it over their society, and to make them not feel obligated to share them with us. King Sunflower also always insisted that ham-ham society didn't need magic, like pony society. It probably had something to do with the fact that ham-hams can't use magic too well, while there is the unicorn race of ponies. He also had the hameld announce that he had died in his sleep, so as to not to become a hero from what he had done, as he was a very humble ham," Maxwell finished.

Interesting… so, the Elements of Harmony were co-created by ponies and hams. Is there anymore to your story, as well as anything else you learned from your research, Maxwell?

"Um… well, since you asked, I remember you telling me the story of how you got a teleporter. You do still have it, right?" Maxwell pondered.

Well, of course I have it, silly! Like I'm gonna throw something away that I got from a near-death experience. Oh, of course! I should use it to teleport to Fantaji now, right?

"NO!" Maxwell quickly shouted, then shrunk, the word having exploded from his mouth at a much higher volume and a more urgent pitch than he had intended. "That would be a bad idea, at least, I think it would. Would you mind letting me see your teleporter? I need to examine it to see if my hunch is correct."

Uh, sure, I don't see why not. It's not as though we're in any super big rush to get to Fantaji. _I handed the teleporter over to Maxwell_

"Mmm hmmm… Interesting… Ah ha! Just as I thought!" Maxwell exclaimed. "This teleporter WAS built by the ponies. You said you first heard 2 female voices, right?"

Yeah, in fact, the first two voices I heard WERE female! I also didn't recognize them. I had always wondered about that!

"Those voices were probably the Goddesses of the Sun and Moon, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, respectively, the Princesses of Equestria, and the beings that formed Fantaji in the first place!" Maxwell exclaimed in unabashed excitement. "Do you know what this means?"

Well, uh, no, I guess, not exactly. But still, to have heard the voices, personally, of two Goddesses, telling me that it was not my time to die… WOW… I guess I'm just now realizing the full implications of what exactly that means, and how… wait, how does it tie in with it not being a good idea for us to teleport right here and now? Because if you're worried about the batteries, trust me, I've never used it before in my life. Though, they could've gotten old, couldn't they?

"No no no, that's not it at all," replied Maxwell. "See, I suspect that, since it bears the most precious colors of the sun and the moon, that it was created by the princesses themselves! If that's true, then it must run on pony magic, the only true type of magic there is, at least, according to my research on the matter. And that never runs out, or gets old. Well, rather, it doesn't when it comes from at least one of the Goddesses. Coming from both of them would, obviously, make it all the more powerful."

Great, so, would you care to enlighten us on why exactly I can't just teleport us there now? I mean, it's not like we'll need the boat anymore. Or will we?

"That's just it, since it was created by ponies, it would just transport us to the ponies' kingdom, not to Sunflower City," Maxwell replied. "And since Sunflower City is an island, we'd be stuck without a way to get to where we needed to be!"

Wait, couldn't we just get a boat built when we get there?

"Well, I suppose we could, but one, we don't have any bits, only ham-dollars, and once we teleported into Equestria, the nearest conversion agency wouldn't be for miles. However, that would be the least of our problems, because number two, we'd be transported to where the teleporter was built, which was the castle in Canterlot, and since we'd be in ham-human form, we'd most certainly get arrested on suspicion of being trespassers, and imprisoned in the dungeons, until one of the princesses would come to see us, obviously. It could be immediately, or it could take days, weeks, even. I'm sure the parents of these children would not be happy about the time spent in what would be a prison cell. Not to mention the fact that Stan still hasn't returned from picking up the supplies to repair our boat," Maxwell stated.

Ah, good point. In fact, good points, all of them. However, if your second point is true, and I don't doubt it, since I know how much you like to research, how do you propose we get in there anyway, once Stan gets back, and with our boat, too? Because I'm pretty sure they'd still arrest us.

"Hmm… We could use the teleporter to send a note ahead of us, to let the pony princess sisters know that we're coming!" Maxwell exclaimed.

Wait, that would present a problem too, I would think. After all, if we send a note, couldn't it end up anywhere in the castle, such as the lab where the teleporter was probably first built, or in any of the multitude of hallways lining the castle?

"No, I don't think it will. Pony magic is very precise, so I'm confident that the note would seek out a mailbox, or something to that effect, so that it would be assured of being read," Maxwell replied.

Wow, you sure do seem to know a lot about the ponies' world, Maxwell. Just how do you know so much about it?

"Well, my master has recently gotten into a series about the ponies' kingdom of Equestria, and it is surprisingly accurate, based on what I read in King Sunflower's old tomes. If I'm remembering the tomes correctly, then the series' creator, Lauren Faust, is one of the few humans gifted with the ability to view across dimensions, into the realm of Fantaji," Maxwell said.

Wait, how do you know that the series isn't just a work of fiction, and the realm of Fantaji even exists as depicted in the series? Sounds pretty farfetched to me, as far as the creator having the power to look into that dimension, and base the stories and characters of the episodes off of it. Because I know that Equestra must exist, otherwise this whole teleporter business would be hard to explain, if not impossible. Surely you, a man of science and academia as you are, would be skeptical of such a human existing, having those kinds of powers? I mean, I've never heard anything of the sort!

"Well, I was very skeptical at first, as you said. However, as time wore on, I started to see the eerie similarities between what I saw my master watching, and what I read in the old tomes. There is still, of course, a slight chance that we're wrong, but those similarities that I found, in addition to your teleporter, dispel nearly any doubts that I had before," Maxwell stated.

Well, okay, then assuming that Fantaji _does_ exist as portrayed in that series, why would the pony princesses give the teleporter to me? Why not one of their subjects, like one of the Elements of Harmony? Wouldn't that make more sense?

"I've been thinking about that the whole time we've been talking, and I remembered that the two female voices weren't the only voices you heard. You said you heard another voice, this one male, right? And he said that he was giving you the teleporter?" Maxwell inquired.

Now that you mention it, yeah, I do remember a male voice speaking after the princess' voices, and I also remember him saying to me to use the teleporter he was giving me wisely. Who could he have been? I mean, just like the princess' voices, I know I'd never heard his voice before then. Wait, you don't think he was… Was he…?

"If you are referring to King Ham, I believe that you are correct. I remember reading in my tomes that he had gotten a vision of the future, and saw storm clouds on the horizon. He convinced the pony princesses to help him build that teleporter, for he foresaw his own death, as well as the exile of his people 500 years later. He also foresaw that Luna's jealousy and rage would overtake her, transforming her into the wicked mare of darkness, Nightmare Moon. That's why he helped the princesses so much to form the Elements of Harmony. He admitted being a little jealous of Luna, since her banishment would only last for a thousand years, while his would be permanent. He also convinced them to give the teleporter to a ham in a thousand years that would be having a near-death experience, and told them they'd know who was the proper ham. He wrote that that ham would be destined to lead his people, us, back to the promised land of Sunflower City. He said that ham would be the reincarnation of his own son, Prince Ham. Jonny, I think he was talking about you!" Maxwell exclaimed.

Woah, no way… lemme just take that in for a moment… You're saying I'm really the reincarnated Prince Ham, and it's my duty to lead our kind back to Sunflower City, and re-inhabit it?

"Well, if King Sunflower was right, and I see no reason why he couldn't be, then yes, you are," Maxwell replied.

Wow… I don't even know what to say, except… Hey, look, here comes Stan!

"Alright, I got the stuff to fix up that boat so we can make like an egg and beat it!" Stan exclaimed, many hams groaning at his hackneyed expression.

_We fixed the boat, and soon were off. The teleporter started playing this song when we went (obviously because it's so awesome). (A/N: The song is __here (__.com/watch?v=sf0tYs5U5RI&hd=1), [on Youtube] just ignore the title, it has nothing to do with what I'm using it for.) Surprisingly, the boat seemed to grow with us as we transformed into Ham-Humans. Soon, we had arrived in Equestria, the note having been sent ahead of time, so the princesses were expecting us, and we were greeted by them warmly. However, we were not expecting the other six ponies waiting for us in the shared throne room of the princesses. It was the Elements of Harmony themselves!_

"Greetings, Ham-Humans. We have been expecting you for quite a while now," a white Pegasus unicorn (or as they are known around Equestria, alicorns) with a stylized sun on her flank, obviously Princess Celestia, said to us. "We have known of your arrival for many years, and have made sure to keep Sunflower City in pristine condition. After over 1,000 years, you will finally return to your homeland. Come along, I will lead you there…"

"Wait! Celly, let me lead them home. After all, if there's anypony, or rather, any_one_, who knows what being banished from your true home for 1,000 years, it's me!" a midnight purple alicorn with black splotches and a crescent moon on her flank, obviously Celestia's younger sister, Princess Luna, cut her off. "I'll lead them to Sunflower City, make it easier for you. I'd do anything to lessen your work load, after you had to handle raising the sun AND moon for 1,000 years. Trust me, it's the least I can do."

"Okay, if you so insist, Luna," Celestia replied in her typical calm, yet warm, fashion. She then giggled and went on to say, "Then, if you don't mind, I think I'll go now. So I'll see you at our usual dinner time, Luna?"

"Of course, Celly. I'll see you at dusk," Luna replied, with a light chuckle.

_Princess Celestia then got up and left, leaving just our group in the throne room with Princess Luna and the holders of the Elements of Harmony._

"Right, I suppose I should introduce you to the Elements themselves," Luna said.

Gesturing toward a lavendar unicorn with a dark blue mane and tail that each had a streak of purple and pink, Luna then said, "This is the Element of Magic, Twilight Sparkle."

"Oh, wow, Twilight, I've always admired your work ethic when it comes to academia," Maxwell stated. "Oh, my name is Maxwell, by the way, but you can just call me Max for short."

"Nice to meet you, Max," Twilight giggled.

_They began to have a conversation. A white unicorn with a violet mane and tail approached Pashmina_.

"This is the Element of Generosity, Rarity," Luna stated.

"Oh my, that is a lovely scarf you have on there, darling," the white unicorn said. "The shade of pink suits your eyes fabulously."

"Oh, uh, thanks!" Pashmina said, somewhat embarrassed. "I have a whole collection of different colors back home, but…"

"Oh no! I just realized we didn't pack anything for this trip!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that too much," said Luna. "The teleporter can travel back and forth between worlds. Just send a letter alerting us, and Celly or I will get to work on it."

Oh, okay. That makes me, and I'm sure everyone else, feel much more at ease.

_Then, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail approached Sandy and Stan, while a yellow pegasus with a light pink mane and tale approached Penelope, and both of them began to converse with the ham-humans they had approached. The conversation between the first pegasus, who Luna introduced as "Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty," appeared to be bragging to Stan and Sandy, with Stan bragging right back, and Sandy attempting to control him. The other pegasus, who Luna introduced as "Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness," appeared to be discussing with her shyness, very hesitantly, and seemed to be getting Penelope to speak actual words! I also saw an orange Earth pony go up to Howdy and try to start converse, but all I heard was Luna introducing her as "Applejack, the Element of Honesty," because at that moment, I was tackled from behind by a pink Earth pony._

"Oh, this bundle of energy is Pinkie Pie. She's the Element of Laughter," Luna said to me.

"Hey, I've never seen ponies like you before! I know! I'll throw you all a party! There'll be streamers and piñatas and sasparilla and PIN THE TAIL ON THE PONY!" Pinkie exclaimed, very enthusiastically.

Uhhh… Maybe later? I think we've got some business to take care of. Oh yeah, one more thing, we're not ponies, we're hams… or rather, I guess we're ham-humans now. Say, where did we get these clothes from?

"Oh, that. Well, you see, my sister and I, we have strict sets of decency, so as part of the teleporter, if you are being transformed into a creature that requires clothing to remain decent, then it gives you that which is necessary. It also works in reverse," Luna replied. "But enough standing around, getting to know each other. I think it pertinent that we leave for Sunflower City as soon as possible, wouldn't you agree, Zumotokachirikato?"

Wait, are you talking to me? 'Cause my name's Jonathan.

"Oh, I can see that you are in need of another explanation," Luna replied. "You see, the prophecy that allowed you to receive your teleporter, said that the one who received it would be the reincarnation of Prince Zumotokachirikato, although you might know him as Prince Ham. That's you, Jonathan."

Really? Whuh… I don't… I can't! I'm not a leader! I hate leading! I wouldn't know how to lead people!

"Don't worry! I'll be sending over the Elements of Harmony to help you rebuild, and after that, they'll act as ambassadors from Equestria to Sunflower City!" Luna exclaimed in order to calm me down.

"Wait, did somepony say 'travelling?'" A young voice that I had not heard before suddenly asked.

"What in tarnation… Apple Bloom! Ah told you and yer friends tah stay home!" Applejack said, addressing the earth filly, colored yellowish, with a brilliant rose mane and tail, who had spoken up suddenly, having snuck into the room at some point.

"And Sweetie Belle, whatever are you doing here?" Rarity addressed a white unicorn filly, with a light purple/blue mane and tail.

"Hey, pipsqueak, didn't I say to stay home, and then your parents said it'd be okay for me to start teaching you how to fly?" Rainbow Dash said to the final member of the three filly group, who was an orange pegasus with a scruffy purple mane and tail.

"But sis! We were curious 'bout what ya'll were doin', goin' off tah Canterlot without us! Then, when we heard travellin', we wanted tah come too!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Wait, what's an ambassador?" asked the orange pegasus filly.

Um… well, it's a pony, (or in our case, ham-human) that travels to a foreign land to represent their homeland. And well…

"Didja hear that? We could be…" the orange filly said, continuing in unison with her two friends,

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AMBASSADORS! YAY."

Oh my, I'm a little shocked no glass broke. By the way, what's your name?

"Oh, I'm Scootaloo, the second coolest pony in Equestria, right after Rainbow Dash over there," Scootaloo gushed.

"Yep, it's true! I'm the coolest pony there is," Rainbow Dash bragged.

"No means no, Apple Bloom!" Applejack exclaimed.

"The same goes for you too, Sweetie Belle! You three are going to be in a lot of trouble once we get back home," Rarity exclaimed.

"Sorry kid, but I gotta tell your parents. Hopefully they'll still let you fly with me when I get back," Rainbow Dash said.

"But…"

"Don't worry, I'll talk to 'em, see what I can work out."

"Thanks, Rainbow Dash, you're the best!"

Okay, shall we get this show on the road?

"I'm ready, but…. Princess, darling, could you make sure the Cutie Mark Crusaders over there get home safely? Drop Scootaloo off with her parents, and… Applejack? Would it be okay if Sweetie Belle were to stay at Sweet Apple Acres with Apple Bloom until we return?" Rarity asked.

"Shore, ah don't see why not," Applejack replied.

"Of course, I'll call for a chariot and guards to have them escorted home immediately," Luna replied.

"Well, I think we should get going," Twilight said.

_And so we did, boarding the boat, all us ham-humans along with the six ponies coming with us, to help us rebuild our civilization after 500 years of absence. _

(Dammit! How the hell am I gonna be a leader to these people I barely know! I rarely ever took charge of my friends before, and now this!)

"You're worried about being a leader, aren't you, Jonathan?" Twilight inquired.

Very perceptive, Twilight. How'd you guess?

"I remember, when Princess Celestia sent me from Canterlot to Ponyville to make some friends, I was so nervous, as I had always buried myself in books, never having time for friends. However, the 5 that are coming along with us have become my best friends in the world. They are irreplaceable to me. Point is, sometimes we have to do things that we may not exactly be comfortable with, but we end up so much better off for having done them," Twilight lectured.

Ah, I see. Well, I suppose that since I'm destined to do it, it couldn't hurt to try. And I'll have all my friends around to help.

"That's the spirit!"

By the way, did you happen to learn King Sunflower's true name from either Princess?

"Oh yeah, I believe they did mention something about his name. King Rinkatoarikutata, I believe is what they said."

Ok, cool. (King Rinkatoarikutata, I will do your lineage proud, and rule over my people fairly and justly!)

'I always knew you would be able to do it,' a voice said to me, obviously the King's voice, as it was the same voice I heard when I received my teleporter.

_Soon, we saw Sunflower City start to grow on the horizon, and even though it showed signs of the 1,000 years of neglect, it was still beautiful. Soon, we would begin to rebuild, and have countless adventures of our own. I could just feel it. What kind of adventures would await us? That is for another day, another time._

* * *

**Me: Wow, I cannot believe that I'm finally done, after this particular chapter spent 4.5 or so years in development hell (i.e. I abandoned it). I would flesh it out more, as I kind of feel that it's rushed too much, but I have fics I'm excited to begin work on, plus I was just writing this as ideas came to me (whereas for those aforementioned fics, I have lots of ideas written down, and will soon begin to decide on the specifics of the plot. I hope this makes it a lot easier for me to write, because let me tell you, I've been struggling severely to get this story done over the past week. I've always been more of a reader than a writer). There are a few things I want to chronicle, though. Some of these are to inform you, while some are just so I don't forget. The first: the reason it said that I had updated my fic three days after its posting date, but there's only one chapter, is because the 2****nd**** chapter was basically an author's note saying what I later edited into the last part of the first chapter of this. Author's Notes as chapters weren't banned until later, and that's when I edited it, out of fear of my fics or account getting deleted. I realize how foolish that might seem, especially since my other story is nearly entirely script format (also banned), but it's a whole helluva lot easier to tack a few words onto the end of a chapter (especially if they are Author's Notes) than it is to rewrite an entire six chapters to go from script format to paragraph format. The second thing is the whole Celestial Night disclaimer that is at the top of chapter one. If you're wondering what I'm talking about (because I'm honestly wondering if you were around back then), just check this out: ****Here (.net/s/1494508/19/My_Fake_Fiancee)****, and her account is ****here (****.net/u/430642/Celestial_Night). The third thing is that it was really, really hard writing this, because I was trying to maintain consistency with the first chapter I wrote 8 years ago. In retrospect, that was a bad idea, as I often had to force myself to think like an 11-year-old, instead of the 19-year-old I am now, not to mention how much the formatting completely sucked. Personally, I think that was the most crippling part of writing this. Finally, I must apologize sincerely for making my Self-Insert OC a Gary Stu, though I was completely out of any other ideas (they'd dried up in the 4 or so years since I'd last worked on this). If I ever decide to make another story set in this universe (which won't be for quite a while), hopefully I'll be able to develop him some more, and build Fantaji, along with Sunflower City, convincingly. In fact, I might be tempted sometime to make another fic set in this universe, and build Fantaji up. That could be exciting, though I predict it won't be anytime soon. Oh well. As always, please review! Constructive criticism would be most appreciated, but also, feel free to flame, as these stories are crap, looking back on them now. However, this story does give me hope that when I start writing my FiMfics, I'll be able to do better with a more standardized formatting, and that I'll at least be able to surpass the word count minimum in order for getting them posted on Equestria Daily. And y'know, it kinda feels good to finally be able to put this chapter of my life to bed.  
**


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